What a Russian Bikini Waxer Taught Me About Advocating For Yourself

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There's not much bathing suit season left, but I swim all year round at a local pool, so I have a plethora of swimsuits. Plethora - great word, right?
However, that means attention to...body hair.


Sigh.


It's a huge subject, but for the sake of your valuable time, I'll skip the discussion about the @%#@!! decades of pressure to defoliate.


Although some of my suits have boy trunk bottoms or skirts or frills etc., I do have a few suits where a bikini wax or a close encounter with a razor is going to happen, regardless of the reasons why.


Razors close to one's vajayjay can cause complications, so for the first time since Covid (and before we went back to wearing masks full time again, I booked in for a bikini wax at a place I hadn't been to before.


Remind me to tell you sometime about my attempt to wax myself…NOT recommended. Anyhoo…


The choices were Classic or Slim. Having no clear idea what either really meant (mistake number one: always clarify details before committing to anything), I opted for Classic, thinking to “tidy up” just enough to wear my suits without societal shame.

Unfortunately, my waxer, a delightful woman from Russia, hadn't got the memo.


It wasn’t until I was lying in that awkward position with the teeny modesty garment I felt some hot wax where I didn't really want it to be.
I shrieked (and this was before she’d even ripped it off) but it was too late. There was no going back.


She paused mid-application while I tried to explain I liked my down-there hair. 


Cease and desist!


She was completely and utterly baffled.


We’d chatted, as one does (reminder, be less interested in your service provider and more focused on the end result) and I’d found out she was 53, and newly single. As far as she was concerned, having minimal hair there was going to be essential to her dating life.


What blew her mind as I was apparently the first client in all her years of waxing who actually wanted her lady hair.


The thing is when you get older, or at least in my case, hair grows less, not more, and I was proud of my pelt. I was fascinated with my follicles. I celebrated them!


She was stunned into silence for several minutes. I also explained that for me personally, the only landing strip I wanted to see was near a plane.


If you prefer Brazilians, the 70’s au naturel look, a lightning bolt ala Samantha from Sex and The City, I celebrate your choice. It’s your body and no one else should be able to tell you what to do with it.


What the heck has this to do with advocating for yourself?


CLARITY:

1) Have a clear vision or outline of the result you want
2) Specify it to anyone involved in the outcome
3) Have them repeat it back/explain how they will contribute
4) Come to an agreement before proceeding, with the best alternative – always have a plan B
5) If you can’t get what you want (like a Classic) walk away. If you can, waxing is painful….
Oh, and take your bathing suit or knickers with you to clearly demonstrate where you want hair removed….


Aroha, Erin

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